oh, hello

out of the loop....no, no, no. in a different loop?...well, no, not really. all loops create the same sphere? hmmm, well, we're getting there i think. :) mostly, i haven't done a whole lot of computing lately. to those who have checked out some older stuff and wondered about me, thank you for your good thoughts. my prayers for you are often.

so, the big deal lately is that jen and i are putting together a flower farm. so many beautiful ways it's falling into place. i'll try to get some organization to my excitement and post more on that later. perhaps a progression page or something will develop.

yeah, right - like my computer time's gonna go up any time soon. ;)

until then, zen. hope you enjoy the shots.

complex cycle of continuation. this is you!

whatever this makes you think should be the caption. so,...?

the mystery and beauty of the Creator - we inhabit a living planet

sunset on the pacific. must....experience....again

missing san fancisco, for the most part at any rate

jen in cafe sapore, san francisco. absolutely beautiful, from woman to cafe on the hill

NOW is what's happening; enjoy NOW

with subtle tones making an easy rhythm,
footsteps become droning missile attacks
on ant hills and dying leaves
newly fallen from sycamores and elms,
and the little bushes i didn't plant but still take the time
to prune and mold to how i imagine
they really should have looked.

what i thought were leaves suddenly
flutter from the treetops,
swooping and chirping,
discussing "where is South -
and do we want to go there?"

my thoughts follow their lead,
upward and out
away from me
for an eternal moment,
one that should not leave me.
sharp breath in, and already exhaling
in a warm wet cloud
gusting from within -
i know these moments are fast waning.

winter is howling over my head,
lying in the stacked clouds,
waking from a very short nap.
She is angry and ready to snap,
waiting to begin her prowl -

but it is not yet her time.

with this new conclusion
and impervious longing,
stretching each moment out
to capture the essence of now,
i put away these petty worries for another day,
bend my sights back down to decaying Earth,
and sigh to myself, "carpe diem, carpe diem."

kbs 4.1.2004

duality of consciousness

‘tis but a dream that has me now awakened,
stirring from slumber as sun scares the moon into transparency;
briefly, i saw myself for who i was, who i am no more.
i move myself from these filthy crumpled sheets
and eat the sandy breeze upon filling my eyes with ocean wide;
step onto the rock and peer to the sky –
let the gulls’ cries and the salty wind
erase my sense of solitude and put me as one
with the insects crawling between my toes.

double columbine [or the layered story of humanity]

knowledge true

if there be a way to see what is hidden,
may it be found in the woods;
hiding in the leaves of trees,
being washed in the cool babbling brook,
living with small, furry friends in a hollow log.
wherever, and however i may come across it,
only let it be revealed, and i will not care how it comes to me.
there is a beauty to the lonely walk,
over leaves softened by lingering dew,
by wild groves of flowering weeds, reminding me of my place,
of the true me;
in these simple sweet living poems i see what i am,
what i am lacking,
how i need to be to attain it.

kbs 4.1.2004

how to touch my soul (journal entry #174)

only a nice touch

[not necessarily gentle,
as we understand gentle to be,
yet with a gentle heart
behind the movement]

will awaken my soul.



only when i understand
how pure truth is

[purity knows not
a hard or soft rebuke;
instead it knows
the lesson to be learned]

will i be able to
revel in the true mystery
and come away gleaming.

monk's mutterance

so the people who
"talk to themselves"
aren't so bad after all
says my feeble mind
to my all-too-eager tongue -
after all, i just
finished talking to myself -
after all, who's to say?
perhaps i'm not
talking to myself
but to a
universal audience -
it's out there,
it's been thought,
that is to say
it's been created,
so now it's
part of the whole
without which
wholeness does not exist -
who's to say, after all?

BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE NOW BE HERE.

"If you overesteem great men, people become powerless.
If you overvalue possessions, people begin to steal.
The Master leads by emptying people's minds and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion in those who think that they know.
Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place."

- Tao Te Ching [3]

warm weather is happening somewhere constantly - right now, OUR TURN. :)

a sense of how to be

this morning, a tree caught my attention and offered up its view on how i should choose to live.

this beautiful tree, teeming with new, tender leaves on strong branches, is surrounded by the bricks of a building, the concrete of the sidewalk and asphalt of the parking area. yet, without a word of renunciation, still it bursts forth its beauty every spring.

i stood and wondered about this tree; in some ways i was saddened by its seeming demise of being trapped in such a web of human "civilization"; but it simply stared back at me, waving to me in the light breeze. it is alive, and even in the midst of its placement, it does not hold a grudge toward those who planted it there. it simply IS. it simply GROWS. it simply PROVIDES. it simply GIVES its beauty to all who see it, as well as all who don't even look. it is SHELTER for the creatures of the earth - other plants vining up its trunk, squirrels and birds nesting comfortably in its strong arms, insects and such having a hayday enjoying, sharing, and interacting to keep the amazing cycle going.

i wish to be like that tree; when i am in a place where i feel i am surrounded by opposition, i will be beautiful. i will GROW, PROVIDE, GIVE, and SHELTER without question. when others do things that destroy, i will continue to create.

stare at a tree for a while today - one buried in the depths of our concrete conditions. consider the purity of its way, and ponder how your life may be the same as that tree. that tree and i will both decay back into the earth someday; but now, while that tree and i are here together, i will remain aware of our similar duties to be peace inside the chaos.

yellow flower at yellow wood state forest

instant coffee, instant tea....instant peace?

there are so many instant satisfactions to desires in the world. instant drinks, instant meals, instant loans, instant sex (just dial and they show up if you have the cash), music-on-demand, the list is endless.

what about instant peace? i desire that more than anything. i don't need an electric cheese slicer; hell, i don't even want one. what i do want is be close to God. in an instant, i need to feel unconditional love flow through my soul, dripping down over my brain like alka-seltzer's bubbles or pepto bismol for the mind, and then out to my fingertips so i can uncurl my fist, into my lungs so i can take in a deep calming breath and let it out, and oozing out around my tongue so that by the time i speak, only words of peace and love can be uttered.

so, another "for instance", which seem to be prevalent in most of my later blogs: living in this country, i'm surrounded by (and even express on my own at times) great acts of selfishness. when money, personal gain, ladder-climbing, greed, and revenge are the cornerstones of one's life, those "qualities" are evident in one's life. when i am confronted by some form or another of this type of action, like someone letting a door slam in my face, or watching someone ridicule another person, or witnessing someone cutting me off on the highway, i pretty much get pissed first. not my desire. more importantly, though, is that almost immediately, i'm overcome with a sense of needing to love that person.

"forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do." to me, that's more than appropriate for about three thousand two hundred sixty four moments a day in my life. it isn't that this person who's done some act of non-love always digs it and always does it on purpose; in most cases, i would imagine they don't even realize there's a better way to live. so, my purpose in this life is to show unconditional love and spread peace as much as i can; otherwise, i'm not being the soil that the seeds of God's love need to live.